Winter Paralympics: ‘I chose to have my leg amputated after years of pain’

When musician Shona Brownlee fell at the end of her military training, she didn’t think much about it – but after years of chronic pain, she made a life-changing decision that unexpectedly took her to this year’s Winter Paralympics in Beijing.

Shona has been fascinated by the french horn since she was a child.

“Music is all I ever wanted to do,” she says. “My evenings and weekends were filled with orchestra rehearsals and concerts.”

Shona, from Livingston, Scotland, studied music at the highest level, first at the Birmingham Conservatoire and then at Arizona State University in America.

But life as a freelance musician was tough. Orchestra musicians are often only paid for the one or two rehearsals before a concert and then for the performance itself. And it was unpredictable.

She knew of friends who had joined the RAF as musicians to create stability.

“I always thought the military wasn’t for me. But when I visited them and attended a few rehearsals, you could tell that the job is exactly the same as that of a civilian musician.

“You wear a uniform, but you get the rehearsals, you get the concerts, the tours and world-class bands.”

Shona applied to the RAF and was accepted as an airplane woman. Even with a focus on music, she had to meet the same admission requirements as all other recruits and complete basic training before she was allowed to play.

There were also a few lifestyle changes. Along with fitness tests and early starts, “we marched everywhere,” Shona smiles. “You have to march between the lessons you have,” from service knowledge to gun handling.

As Shona neared the end of basic education, she envisioned what her musical career would be like.

And then she fell.

“It was a simple accident,” she says of falling off a ledge into a cargo bay, and thought nothing of it. Her ankle hurt, but she assumed it was sprained and would be fine soon.

She forced herself to quit practice and joined the band, but “band drill” — more marching — was out. She could hardly walk.

Shona was referred to the famed Headley Court Defense Medical Rehabilitation Center where she was diagnosed with complex regional pain syndrome causing severe persistent and disabling pain. She tried different treatments, from intensive rehabilitation to surgery.

“Nothing worked,” she says. “I was on crutches with one leg that wasn’t working.”

Shona continued to work with the RAF band, but when she had to perform and march simultaneously – one of their key components – she had to sit out. It was frustrating and she hoped that one day treatment would help.

After six years without success, Shona’s medical team called her to a meeting: “There was nothing more that could be done,” they told her.

But Shona knew that wasn’t quite true.

Over the years, she had befriended wounded veterans.

“Double and triple amputees who were so much more functional than me because they were wearing prostheses,” she says.

And she recalled a joke a friend made years ago — “You should have it cut off.”

Shona knew he wasn’t just kidding, he himself had opted for a leg amputation.

“At the time I was a little shocked and thought, ‘I’d rather have a shaky leg than no leg’, but over time you start to think, ‘It’s not such a bad thing’.”

Shona began researching the possibility and when she decided it was for her, she mentioned it to her medical team at Headley Court.

They needed “a bit of convincing,” she says, and spent a long time going over all the ins and outs with her, including how she might be left with phantom limb pain. There was also the possibility that it didn’t work or that she couldn’t cope with a prosthesis.

Shona was willing to take the risk.

“After six years on crutches, it almost seemed like there was no decision to make because my leg wasn’t working,” she says. “I had nothing to lose.

“I have decided to have my leg amputated below the knee.”

Shona says making her own decision has helped her come to terms with the life-changing surgery, even as it required convincing others.

But despite this conviction, she was nervous on the day of the operation. She had no idea if it would work and relieve her pain.

When Shona came to from the anesthesia, she looked down.

“There was just an odd little bump where my leg should have been, but I remember thinking it doesn’t hurt, that’s a good sign.”

Shona spent a week in hospital followed by six weeks in a wheelchair to ensure the stump healed before having her prosthetic leg fitted.

“I found it easier to get used to than I expected,” she says. “It felt weird at first,” and she had to learn to take care to avoid blisters and sores. “But within a few months it felt normal.”

She was even able to march with the RAF band for the first time.

While Shona was undergoing rehab, she spotted an advert for the RAF’s Battle Back program, which offers sports and adventures to injured and ill soldiers as part of their rehabilitation.

It advertised a ski trip to Bavaria.

Shona has signed up. “It was supposed to be a nice little 10-day fun, but that was the beginning of my skiing career,” she says.

Shona tried a sit-ski – a wrapped seat mounted on a single ski. Two hand-held outriggers are used for balance and directional control.

“It was terrifying, but I really enjoyed it,” she says. “It’s a bit like riding a bike. It’s pretty shaky at first, but once you find your balance point and center of gravity, then it’s ok.

“I wouldn’t say I picked it up particularly easily. I remember often getting on my head, sliding down the hill headfirst and ending up in ditches.”

Despite the falls, someone spotted Shona’s potential and introduced her to the Armed Forces Para-Snowsport Team (AFPST), which provides injured service workers with skiing opportunities as well as coaching and equipment.

The organization also supported Para-Nordic skier Scott Meenagh and snowboarder Owen Pick at this year’s Paralympic Games.

Between rehab and work, Shona began training properly and, with the support of the AFPST, began competing under the classification – LW12-2 – for athletes with lower limb amputations.

In the last 12 months, Shona’s career has really taken off – first she made the British team, then she competed in her first World Cup event and was on the podium twice.

This week she made her debut at the Winter Paralympics. Despite crashing and not finishing in her first event – the super combination, which includes a downhill and a slalom – she will compete in giant slalom on Friday and slalom on Sunday.

“It just snowed,” she says.

Shona is now part of the RAF’s Elite Athlete Scheme, which allows service staff to take time off from their assigned jobs and train full-time. She was also named RAF Sportswoman of the Year 2021.

It was a golden time, but as much as Shona would love a gold medal, Beijing 2022 was more about the experience.

“I feel like this is my warm-up,” she says. “Learn from it and then build on it in another cycle.

“But the ultimate goal? I will still go back to the band and be a musician again.”