I’m trans so I’ve never used the school toilets

In the nine months that Felix has been in high school in Fife, he has never used the toilet.

The 13-year-old is trans and his teachers say he’s welcome to use toilets and locker rooms for men, women or the disabled.

But like some other trans students, Felix would prefer to use unisex facilities.

He says he’s uncomfortable having to choose between options that weren’t designed for trans people.

Felix says, “I’m worried that if I go into the girls’ bathroom, they’ll say, ‘Oh, why is there a boy in the girls’ bathroom?’

“And when I go into the boys’ room, they do the opposite and say, ‘Oh, why is there a girl in the boys’ room?’ And when I go to the disabled toilet, I feel like I’m taking it away from other people who need it more than me.

“I told my guidance counselor but she said there’s not really much we can do about it because we can’t change the walls at school or anything. I feel like I just have to deal with it.”

People who are transgender experience a discrepancy between their gender and the gender on their birth certificate.

The toilets are just one aspect of school life where students like Felix speak of problems.

In August last year, the Scottish Government released guidance to support transgender students in schools with issues ranging from toilets and changing rooms to pronouns, coming out and school uniform.

It states that transgender students should not be made to use the toilet or changing room of their gender as recorded on their birth certificate, but that “does not mean that all toilets must become gender neutral.”

How schools deal with this issue is up to them, provided they abide by the law.

Same-sex services such as toilets have also been covered by guidance recently issued by the Equality and Human Rights Commission, the UK’s human rights body. The guidance was criticized by LGBT+ campaigning charity Stonewall, which claimed it would lead to more confusion.

Some schools in Scotland have introduced unisex toilets but it is an issue that is dividing public opinion.

A recent poll for the BBC found that around 25% of participants agreed that a transgender person under the age of 16 should be allowed to use the toilet/changing room/shared accommodation on school trips of the gender they identify with as theirs gender registered at birth. However, a larger proportion – around four in ten – disagreed.

With Felix’s school not planning unisex facilities, his mother worries that he might miss out on education if he had to be sent home.

Scotland was one of the first countries in the world to support teachers in making education more LGBT inclusive at all ages.

According to the BBC poll, adults are also divided on issues such as primary school-age children using transgender-themed resources – 36% support it and 34% disagree.

In practice, students say they have benefited from resources such as LGBT clubs – but 13-year-old Demetri told the BBC more could be done to improve learning materials.

Demetri is gender-specific, meaning her gender identity is not fixed and may change over time or from day to day.

Demetri, who attends the same school as Felix, said: “The only reason I really know about a lot of these things is because of social media – but at school I only really know about it because I go to the LGBTQ+ club . And I think people who don’t go there don’t know that much about it.

“There are a few people that I know whose parents really don’t support me and I feel really bad for them because my parents and my whole family that I’ve told about are really supportive of them.

“I just feel like for someone you look up to like a parent, it would be really upsetting not to accept you for who you are.”

The desire for more inclusion was reflected in a recent report by LGBT Youth Scotland, which included responses from more than 1,000 schoolchildren. Only a small proportion of the participants rated the school experience for LGBT people as “good”.

Mental health was another topic in the survey, with 80% of trans participants suffering from anxiety.

For example, Felix said he could get upset when he heard boys’ voices in his class because they sounded different from his own.

He said: “Sometimes I feel negative, sometimes I just wish I could be like a girl again because it would be so much easier.

“But I don’t mind because even the thought of just being a girl again and using my old name makes me really sick.”

Demetri also struggles with mental health but is aware that growing up transgender in Scotland has its perks.

“There are a lot of things that I’m not happy with, but it’s not as bad as some places in America because there are a lot of places where they’re actively preventing trans people from being who they are,” said Demetri.

“In some places it’s actually a crime. It’s more accepted in Scotland.”

Nicholas Spyrou, facilitating an equality group at another school where children can discuss LGBTQ+ issues and find solutions to the problems around them.

The 26-year-old teacher at Glasgow’s Hillpark Secondary is originally from Cyprus but says Scotland is much further ahead of other countries in terms of LGBTQ+ inclusivity in education but the spread of LGBTQ+ lives and experiences in the curriculum could improve.

This, he said, would allow students to feel more comfortable turning to teachers for help.

“I think it’s changing the culture,” he said. “Do we have trans positive signs, do we have LGBTQ+ signs, do we as teachers show that we support one another, do we have decorations and paintings on our walls that show our support?

“We can’t blame a young person for not coming to us, but we can think, not just as teachers but as a whole school, what else we can do to make our place more inclusive.”