A 12-year-old girl was left “devastated” after her father died suddenly the night before he was due to book a family holiday.
The devastating blow came just months after Merthyr Tydfil’s Ruby lost her great-grandmother to dementia.
Back in 2018, she felt unable to talk about it or even cry when people said, “Be brave for mom.”
After suffering from anxiety, Ruby slowly regains her confidence and wants everyone to be open about her feelings.
“It was one of the most terrifying feelings,” she said in retrospect.
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“It was a real struggle to lose her and my mental health has taken a hit, but it’s slowly getting better. The morning he died was a real shock and I miss him dearly.
“Everyone would say ‘be brave for mom.’ I felt like I had to be okay. There were no tears or anything. I had to hold myself back when dealing with emotions.”
Five years ago, when Ruby was seven, her great-grandmother died of vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s.
Then in December 2018, her father Jamie, who was 38, had talked about a family vacation before going to bed.
But he never woke up – he died suddenly and unexpectedly from a blood clot.
Ruby remembers him fondly, saying, “Dad was a nutcase, to be fair.
While she can now speak openly about her father, when she transitioned from elementary school to high school, her teachers noted that she was quiet and lacking in self-confidence.
Looking back, Ruby says she felt anxious about a lot of things, and not sharing them only made her situation worse.
“It was definitely one of the most challenging things I’ve ever experienced … I didn’t speak when I was at my lowest,” she added.
It was then that her teacher enrolled her in the Youth Sport Trust’s Active In Mind programme.
Through a range of games and activities, Ruby was encouraged to talk about her mental help and to think about good habits to promote a healthy mind.
She was one of 21,216 young people taking part in the six-week program in Wales and England.
In groups of 15, they were led by an athlete mentor and five mental health champions.
“Our world has been turned upside down and destroyed,” admitted Ruby’s mother Adele.
She believes her daughter has “changed so much” from the sessions and is now that “confident and energetic” student in the classroom again.
“Her father would be so proud of her,” Adele added.
“They helped me think about how I lost my father and Gi (great-grandmother),” Ruby said.
“It made things better because it made me laugh a lot more and helped me be more active during games and understand how to keep my body and mind healthy.”
Now on a mission to encourage her friends to open up, Ruby adds, “I don’t think there’s enough support in society today for young people when it comes to mental health, and I think our generation can easily be overlooked.
“Young people should never be afraid to share their feelings and their feelings.
“Don’t be afraid to cry. I’m not here to judge you for crying.”
Ali Oliver, Chief Executive of the Youth Sport Trust added: “In the shadow of the pandemic, we are taking urgent action to help the many young people struggling with their mental health and to support schools with practical advice and help.
“A cost of living emergency is increasing inequality in society, and these concerns are having an impact on young people as well.”
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