A father who suffered a breakdown after witnessing his son’s traumatic birth says the impact a new baby can have on fathers is often overlooked.
Mark Williams, 48, said both giving birth and supporting his wife during postnatal depression had a “massive impact” on his mental health.
“The first time I had a panic attack was in the maternity ward because I thought my wife and baby were going to die,” he said.
Mark, from Bridgend, said he had been quietly suffering from depression for years.
Then, in 2004, when his wife went into labor, he saw her in constant pain and helpless as she was taken to the theater.
When their baby was young, his wife was diagnosed with postnatal depression.
“Obviously I’ve seen my wife go through those things too,” he said.
“I was really down, drinking and avoiding situations.”
He began looking for support but struggled, noting a lack of conversations about young fathers and mental health.
He was eventually diagnosed with anxiety and depression and later attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
He said therapy, medication, and learning coping skills through cognitive behavioral therapy all helped improve his mental health.
Today he is an advocate for fathers’ mental health and wants more support for new and expectant fathers.
“If the father is suffering from mental health issues or lack of confidence, whatever it is, it can affect the relationship and of course the child,” he said.
“So it’s really important that all parents have our support.”
Mark supports the group For Dads By Dads in Torfaen and educates new and expectant men about the challenges of the early years of fatherhood.
The group was started by another dad, Jacob Guy, who said, “There were times I felt a little isolated and needed more information about being the best dad I could be.”
When Jacob, 41, from Chepstow, Monmouthshire, became a father, he felt he didn’t have a network of people who were going through the same thing and would understand how he felt.
He looked around for dad groups but couldn’t find the support he was looking for.
In 2022, he decided to create a 10-week program designed to provide a safe space for fathers and to educate new and expectant fathers by conducting workshops on a wide range of topics.
The group offers fathers the opportunity to share experiences, build a support network and address the challenges that fatherhood brings.
And that support is vital: According to the British Journal of Midwifery, postnatal depression affects one in ten fathers, which is about the same rate as mothers.
According to social enterprise DadPad, developed in partnership with the NHS and real life fathers, up to 38% of new dads are concerned about their mental health and would like more support.
The Welsh Government said it was investing in the development of perinatal mental health teams and networks.
“We remain committed to improving perinatal mental health services and will evaluate what further action can be taken,” it said.
Jacob said he’s seen the positive impact that being with other dads can have on new dads.
“It gave her confidence to know that we’re not always going to get it right,” he said.
“If we make mistakes, we brush ourselves off and start over.”
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