Bhavana Menon, a popular actress from the southern Indian state of Kerala who was kidnapped and sexually abused in 2017, has broken her silence after five years and described her “difficult journey from victim to survivor”.
Menon, who has acted in more than 80 South Indian language films and won a number of prestigious awards, was attacked by a group of men in February 2017 while traveling from Thrissur to Kochi.
Her attack made headlines, particularly after Dileep, one of the biggest actors in the Malayalam-language film industry and Menon’s co-star in half a dozen films, was named as a defendant and charged with criminal conspiracy. He denied the charges against him but was arrested and held in custody for three months before being released on bail. The case will be heard in court.
“I was just a normal, fun-loving girl, and then this one incident happened that turned my life upside down. Most people see the smiling photos I post on social media, but I’ve been to hell and back,” Menon told me over the phone from the southern city of Bangalore.
“I became that victim, that ‘affected actress.’ And for a long time I kept asking ‘Why me?’ I blamed myself and looked for a way out,” she said.
“But in 2020, after the trial began, I spent 15 days testifying in court. And then things changed. Here I was, wanting to forget and move on, but then I had to remember everything, every tiny detail about the case.”
On the day of her attack, Menon was traveling from her hometown of Thrissur to the city of Kochi, where she was due to dub for a film the next morning when she was kidnapped. Her attackers made videos of the attack — “maybe they were trying to blackmail me,” she told me.
Given her – and Dileep’s – celebrity status, the case drew massive media attention, and on any given day, local news channels invited panelists to speak for and against her.
Many took to social media and indulged in the victim desecration – asking why she was out at 7pm and questioning her morals, some berating her and some saying the case was all made up, she “staged” it.
“I was devastated, broken into a million pieces, all those things were very hurtful to me. Sometimes I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs,” she said Indian digital platform Mojo Story. “My dignity was stolen and then I was shamed as a victim.”
Under Indian law, the identities of those who have been sexually assaulted must be protected at all costs, but Menon said it was known from the start that she was the one who was being assaulted.
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“I was an established actress and the first reports just said I was kidnapped, so some of the TV stations showed my photos. When the details of the sexual assault emerged, they removed my name and photos, but by then everyone knew it was me.”
In January, for the first time since her “nightmare” began five years ago, Menon publicly admitted in an Instagram post that she was the “survivor” of the attack.
“This was not an easy path. The path from victim to survivor. For five years my name and identity have been suppressed under the weight of the assault that was inflicted on me,” she wrote.
“Although I am not the one who committed the crime, there have been many attempts to humiliate, silence and isolate me. But at such times, some stepped forward to keep my voice alive. Now that I’m hearing so many voices speak for me, I know I’m not alone in this fight for justice,” she added.
Her post was shared by some of the biggest Malayali stars including Mohanlal and Mammooty and many Bollywood actresses spoke out in support of her.
Dhanya Rajendran, editor-in-chief of The News Minute website, says Menon is “very courageous” in deciding to speak out, while also being cautious as the case is below the courts.
“Physical assault is one thing, but she’s a celebrity, so she faces intense public scrutiny and the reactions of society and the film industry. There is also a court case going on. Then there’s the video of the attack and there would always be the fear that it might leak out to the public.”
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The actress says she’s aware she’s privileged because she’s a celebrity, has the full support of her husband and family, and has the financial means to fight her case, but the past five years haven’t been easy .
“There were at least a hundred times when I wanted to give up. There have been so many times I’ve asked my friends and family and even my lawyers if I could take it all back and turn back the clock. I’ve thought about leaving the country and going somewhere to start over, I’ve thought about killing myself so many times.”
So what kept her going I ask?
“Every time I thought about giving up, 24 hours later I would change my mind. Because my dignity is at stake, I have to prove my innocence, I have to prove I did nothing wrong,” she says.
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