“When you’re in a compulsive, controlling relationship, it’s not all bad or you wouldn’t be staying.
“In general, the person attracts you with a lot of positive things, you fall in love, and then control begins.”
Anna McMorrin has been an MP for Cardiff North since 2017 and won the seat twice for Labour.
On International Women’s Day she spoke about her experiences in a forced relationship.
She told BBC Wales that “people shouldn’t feel stigmatized” and that “anyone” can find themselves in that situation.
Ms McMorrin called for changes in the justice system, saying it had “very little understanding” of coercive control.
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The Labor Shadow Minister for Victims and Juvenile Justice described how the relationship started well but soon changed.
She said: “Sometimes it’s about not knowing what’s true and what’s not.
“This is about a person who confuses you on many different levels about where they are, what you do, how you spend your time.
“Withdrawing your love and then giving it back. Having affairs, denying them, deleting things from your laptop, from your phone.
“In these circumstances you want to see the good in people and see the best of times, but actually it takes a lot to get out of that type of relationship.”
She said it took a long time to get the courage to go and said there’s an element of financial control as well as emotional control that makes it more difficult.
By speaking about her own experiences, she hoped it would help reduce the stigma and shame many victims feel.
Ms McMorrin said: “Most of the time you don’t even want to admit it. Especially as a strong woman and as someone who takes pride in being a strong woman.
“So you could advance in your career in your job or in life with friends. But behind closed doors is actually another side, where you’re anxious, where you’re scared, where you’re constantly wondering what’s true, what’s not.”
The trauma lives on with her today, but she feels that emotional abuse is not taken as seriously as physical abuse.
“It can be just as traumatic,” she said. “The trauma accompanies you during the relationship and will not let you go afterwards, it takes a long time to recover.”
She said, “It’s really, really hard to walk, and I think that’s a really important point,” she said.
“I feel an obligation as Shadow Minister for Victims to speak out that an abusive forced relationship can happen to anyone.”
“I think it’s important that we can talk about it, to break down those barriers, to break down the stigma. To be ashamed of it, to feel stigmatized for it, to know that pretty much anyone can face it.”
Ms McMorrin said: “There needs to be training for the courts, the whole system that’s in place [Crown Prosecution Service]who do not understand the trauma that the victims go through.
“There is no support within the justice system and very little understanding for women who suffer either domestic violence, forced abuse or emotional abuse and that is all too common.
“We need to develop a better understanding of this.”
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