Jill Filipovic is a New York-based journalist and the author of OK Boomer, Let’s Talk: How My Generation Got Left Behind. keep following her Twitter. The opinions expressed in this comment are solely their own. Check out more opinion pieces on CNN.
(CNN)After years of bad behavior, Kanye West is finally facing some consequences.
The rapper was banned from Instagram for 24 hours after racially insulting The Daily Show host Trevor Noah, who spent part of his show denouncing West’s behavior towards his former wife Kim Kardashian. West’s appearance at the Grammy Awards, which Noah hosts, was also canceled — though not at Noah’s request. Three sources close to West confirmed to CNN that he was pulled from the Grammys for “regarding online conduct.”
West has spent the past few months taking to his social media platforms to hit up his ex-wife Kardashian and her new boyfriend, “SNL” star Pete Davidson. West has posted complaints about Kardashian’s parenting, saying it’s up to him to protect his family and hinting his ex might be a bad parent. He released a music video in which a Davidson look-alike was kidnapped and buried in the ground. Both Kardashian and Davidson have reportedly asked West to stop doing it.
According to West, Kardashian is scared. West posted a series of text messages purporting to be from Kardashian asking him to stop his social media attacks on her and her new partner: “You create a dangerous and scary environment and someone is going to hurt Pete and that’s all going to happen be your fault. ‘ the message said. Along with the text screenshots, West posted, “AT MY WIFE’S REQUEST, PLEASE ANYONE DO ANY PHYSICAL TO SKETE, I WILL HANDLE THE SITUATION MYSELF.” He included an image of a man choking another.
That wasn’t enough to ban West from social media. Apparently it was after Trevor Noah.
The lesson being sent to powerful men is clear: intimidate your ex and much of the public will laugh, especially if she’s the kind of woman the public thinks deserves it. It’s also safe to assume that women who express concerns about what your ex is going through will have a hard time being heard. Go after any popular man trying to reinforce that concern and you will pay a price.
To be clear, West should have been suspended for what he said about Noah. But his actions toward Kardashian and her new partner are just as concerning — if not more concerning. West practically put a target on the Kardashians and Davidson’s backs. And he made it clear that he would like to physically harm Davidson, in part to hurt Kardashian.
Why were his posts still on Instagram? In the midst of this very public series of online attacks, why was he invited to perform at the Grammy Awards?
Instead of seeing this for what it is – a famous man using his fame to torment his ex – too much media portrays it as a “feud.” In a feud, two sides fight each other. This is an attack.
Kardashian is a professionally successful, beautiful celebrity who is notoriously “famous for being famous” as a reality TV star. That seems to shape too much of the public reaction to their current situation. As Noah pointed out in his segment, rather than seeing her as the victim of a very public campaign of stalking and harassment, media narratives and fan reactions are positioning her as an actor in juicy drama.
For many West fans, she is the villain who is destroying her family and West is a despised good man. And even some prominent media figures, including The View’s Sunny Hostin, have argued that removing West from performing at the Grammys was a form of free speech suppression.
West, on the other hand, has long had issues with women, and the public just laughed. When he grabbed Taylor Swift’s mic and interrupted her acceptance speech at the 2009 Video Music Awards, much of the public laughed at it — sure, West was an “ass,” as former President Barack Obama put it, but that was just Kanye Kanye be. Years later, he boasted that he “made that b**** famous” in one of his songs. (Kardashian, for what it’s worth, has stood up for West.) West also blasted his ex Amber Rose in rude and whimsical terms after their split, saying, “I had to take 30 showers before I got together with Kim. ”
One person who seems to understand the reality of this dynamic between West and Kardashian is Trevor Noah.
“They may not feel sorry for Kim because she’s rich and famous,” Noah said in the same Daily Show segment that drew West’s ire. “But what she’s going through is terrifying to watch and highlights what so many women are going through when they decide to leave.”
Noah’s accurate assessment of the Kardashian/West dynamic triggered West predictably — nothing angers misogynistic men quite like their actions get called out for. But it shouldn’t have taken racial slurs to temporarily strip West of social media access and remove him from a place of honor at music’s biggest night. His behavior towards his ex should have had its own public consequences.
One of the reasons many women struggle to leave abusive or otherwise unhealthy relationships is fear: fear of how their ex will behave and fear that they will face social repercussions. Together, we see those fears come true for Kardashian. The very public shrug of West’s frightening actions sends a message to women and men alike: stalking and harassment are normal parts of breaking up a relationship; Men who stalk and molest their ex don’t face repercussions; and women who are persecuted and harassed can expect to be treated as evildoers and heartbreakers, not victims.
Luckily there are men like Noah who are using their platforms to identify this dynamic for what it is. But it shouldn’t be a good famous man to stand up for a misbehaving man to finally see the consequences.
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