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Education & Family

Ben Murray: Dad pleased with plan to lower suicide risk at uni

The father of a teenager who took his own life said he was pleased with the progress of a prevention program but thought more could be done.

Ben Murray, 19, died after receiving a letter telling him to leave Bristol University.

His father, James Murray, advocated relaxing privacy laws so families could be contacted if they had concerns.

An opt-in program was then created to allow universities to do so.

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When Ben Murray died on May 5, 2018, he was about to be discharged from the university in a formal process that did not involve any face-to-face meetings.

The “bright” student had missed lectures and exams for his English literature course and told the university he was suffering from anxiety.

Ben has been described beyond his years as kind, sensitive, and intelligent.

The opt-in scheme, developed at the University of Bristol, allows a student’s parent or relative to be contacted if the student consents.

The university confirmed to the BBC that the proportion of students choosing to opt-in has remained steady around 90 per cent since it was introduced in September 2018.

In the first year of the 2018/19 opt-in program, the university contacted parents or designated contact persons 36 times.

This almost tripled to 98 in the last academic year 2021/22.

Mr Murray said: “You will hear parents and families who have been betrayed and talk about how they want to prevent this from happening to other families.

“And quite often they just set out to save one person’s life and that’s enough because they know the devastation that comes with the loss of just one life.

“If just one person was brought to safety, that would be enough.

“Nonetheless, to think that perhaps among the 98 people whose families have been contacted by Bristol because they had serious mental health concerns, one perhaps has been taken to safety… is enough.”

Alison Golden, Director of Student Health and Inclusion at Bristol University, said: “It must be really important for us to call, we must have serious concerns about the student.

“We try to let the student know in advance that we will contact their emergency contact.

“That’s when we want to add something extra to the support network we’re building around that student, when we feel like we’re not making it and we’re having trouble getting them involved.

“It’s too complicated an issue to say that the program will save lives on its own, but I think for us it’s an additional tool that we use as part of our framework to support students.”

However, according to The Times, only 28 universities have adopted the opt-in program to contact the parent or guardian of a student in a crisis.

Mr Murray said more universities should consider obtaining student consent to contact family members in crisis during the enrollment process.

Other universities in the Southwest have implemented versions of the program.

The University of Gloucester and the University of Bath require students to provide details of a nominated person to contact in an emergency upon enrollment and reserve the right to contact them if there are concerns.

Bath Spa University adapted the opt-in system in 2021 and the University of the West of England has an emergency contact system which it operates “on a case-by-case basis”.

Mr Murray said: “Nobody expects a member of their family to go to university and never come back, when it happens it’s absolutely devastating – the hole it leaves in your life is huge.

“Ben’s legacy is kind. I think Ben would be very pleased and proud that he’s had this impact on so many young lives.”

Mr Murray added: “The result of this type of initiative will be a much more compassionate university sector of which we can be proud.

“We need to get better at learning from the past, these are learning institutions, if we don’t learn from the death of our children, our siblings, then what do we learn from?

“We must honor her memory.”

Mr Murray added that he now advocates that every university look at moments of self-harm, attempted suicide and suicides to assess the things they did well or which they could do better through no fault of their own.

“If we get better at recognizing the signs, having conversations, and paying attention to people who may be struggling, everyone will benefit,” he said.

“The grief won’t go away but her perspective on your life is changing and this kind of information from Bristol is a step in the right direction for us to give Ben’s life more meaning.

“Ben taught us all a great lesson, it’s a tough lesson, it’s a lesson in kindness to notice other people and take action when you have the slightest doubt or concern – you can save a life, suicide is preventable .

“When we see a change in someone we know, go and have a conversion – that can change someone’s life.”

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